Did you ever take one of those social media personality quizzes?
You know, they usually have titles like “What Kind of ___ Are You?” Like so much these days, such quizzes can be an entertaining diversion. But they often add up to just more “fake news”.
It requires more than a pithy quiz to discern our values. But gaining clarity about values is among the most important tasks we can ever perform. Our values guide us. Therefore, it’s essential that we better understand these crucial motivators.
What Are Values and Why Are They Important?
Not so much just beliefs or principles, values are more like the fuel for our actions. Values also give us a sense of personal identity and individuality. Many millions of people can share a belief but values are far more nuanced. Values motivate our choices. Our values work as guidelines we look to and standards we work to live up to.
Values matter. What also matters is the clarity we feel about such values. When we are clear about the standards we set for ourselves, we live a more authentic life.
How do Values Matter when Guiding Our Decisions and Life Choices?
1. Values keep us on track and authentic
Thanks to countless evolving influences, each of us creates our own moral compass. It’s not quite a carved-in-stone code. Rather, our values set up parameters. We have a clear idea of the lines we will not cross and where those lines exist.
2. Values help us make decisions
Life is filled with decisions of varying weight. How we make these decisions is quite often reflective of our values. When we’re agonizing over a choice, we need as much legitimate input as possible. The input doesn’t get any more legitimate than when it reflects our deepest values. This doesn’t guarantee we make the “right” choice every time, in a long-term sense. But we will make the choice that aligns with our core self.
3. Values guide us in times of stress and duress
Everything is more challenging when times get tough. We can feel rudderless. We might find ourselves straining and grasping and reaching for anything to make us feel safe. It’s a dangerous place to be. A sense of clarity about our values is the beacon we seek.
4. Values help us make sense of a confusing world
Just in case anyone thought things were confusing due to the impact of television, along came the Internet. And smartphones. And social media. With a quick scroll of our news feeds, we can change our minds a thousand times. Everyone makes such compelling points. All the memes seem to provide accurate statistics and context. What do we do? Step away from your phone and consult your values.
5. Values can play a big role in healing and recovery
There are innumerable mental and physical conditions we may confront. For the sake of this conversation, let’s consider any form of addictive behavior. In such cases, we are faced with behaviors that may facilitate our temporary needs. A clear perception of our values can serve as a bulwark against those choices and thus, aid our recovery.
Adding Value to Our Values
There are countless ways we can lose sight of our values. When this happens, we feel lost or adrift. It’s not uncommon and it’s nothing to feel shameful about. However, it is a sign that we need some support. Working with a therapist creates a safe space to explore and evaluate your values. What was embedded by family or other outside sources? Which values matter enough to stay with us and why? Your sessions will offer time and space to both identify your standards and, if necessary, to raise them.
