What does self-acceptance mean in the age of social media? Thanks to non-stop updates, everything we do is being assessed in real time. We stack our lives up against the lives of strangers. How accepting can anyone be these days?
Whether it’s Facebook or face-to-face, self-acceptance is important and yes, it is still possible. Let’s begin with a clarification of the concept.
Is self-acceptance the same as self-esteem?
Self-esteem is a term describing how we value ourselves. Do we feel worthwhile and worthy? What parts of us do we “esteem.” Self-acceptance expresses a deeper, more holistic recognition of worth.
To aim for acceptance means we’re also contemplating the parts of us we may not currently “esteem.” Unlike self-esteem, self-acceptance is not based on accomplishments. Think of it as more of a long-term contentment vs. a momentary celebration.
Why self-acceptance matters
It can be easy to feel good about yourself when you do something great or achieve a goal. This is important work, but self-acceptance matters because it reflects a bigger picture view of yourself. This is a self-loving view. We’re able to love friends, partners, and family members even after they disappoint us. Self-acceptance is a way of aiming this same virtue inward.
8 Ways to Develop Self-Acceptance
1. Start with self-esteem
It’s a giant step towards acceptance. List your strengths and accomplishments. Take pride in them and trust in your ability to appraise the rest of you with equal honesty.
2. Practice self-care
How can you accept who you are if you don’t prioritize who you are? Stress management, healthy eating, regular sleeping habits, and plenty of exercise—this is a great foundation.
3. Take a good, hard look at the people in your life
Are the people close to you bringing out the best in you? Do you have a support system? We are social animals. Be sure to surround yourself with those who appreciate all of you.
4. Set aside time and energy to grieve what didn’t work out for you
Call them “failures” if it feels right, but a major part of self-acceptance is recognizing the goals we never reached. Learn from this.
5. Learn how to forgive yourself
We have it in us. We forgive others all the time—for offenses far worse than those we hate ourselves for. Make the self-loving choice to make room for mistakes.
6. Acceptance is NOT surrender
To accept our imperfections is never the same as settling for less than we can be or do. Assess and accept. Then re-write the game plan and get busy!
7. Become a helper
In today’s social media world, it’s common to feel overwhelmed by all the suffering in the world. Here’s something to accept: We cannot end all that suffering.
What we can do is behave like a triage nurse. Help those within your reach. Use your unique skills to make a difference for those who need it the most.
8. Fake it ’til you make it
Self-acceptance takes a while to develop and can fluctuate over time. In those times it wavers, fake it. Like any mental habit, it will start to take hold.
Will your “self” accept outside help?
You may be still muttering, “That’s easier said than done.” If so, you’re not alone in two ways. Firstly, many people struggle with self-acceptance. In addition, you’re not alone in that there’s always the proven option of counseling. Working weekly with a therapist helps us expand our self-perception. We’re more than just a bad hair day or a strikeout with the bases loaded. It helps to have a professional guide remind of this and assist us in developing the skills we need for long-term self-acceptance.
