We all have an inner voice. Too often, this voice can become our inner critic. Eventually, we may even morph into our own worst enemy. No one means to do it. No one enjoys this situation. But we all fall into such cycles at some point. The key is to understand it and get the most appropriate kind of help.
Why Do We Have Negative Thoughts and How Do They Hurt Us?
Sometimes, however, we need negative self-talk. Introspection can be helpful and healthy. Even more so, anxiety and worry can be life-saving. But the type of negative thoughts we’re discussing here are self-limiting. Why then, do most of us end up being our own toughest critic?
Part of the reason for this involves our desire to be “right.” Our upbringing could influence us to maintain some negative ideas about ourselves. From there, our minds may start focusing much more on evidence that “proves” we’re right to have a bad self-image. Even when something good is right in front our face, we’ll look for negative input instead.
We may call this a “vicious cycle.” The world of psychology calls it the “cognitive triad.”
What is the Cognitive Triad?
Essentially, the cognitive triad is our thoughts about self, the world, and the future.
A person may think, “I hate myself.” In turn, this critical self-talk has them imagining that the world agrees: “No one cares about me.” These two components translate into a negative perception of the future: “It’s never going to get better for me.”
In simple terms, this is the cognitive triad in action. This belief system is a hallmark of depressive disorders. Over time, it becomes automatic. We feel unable to control such thoughts and beliefs from dominating our perspective.
This is not a situation we can afford to ignore or leave to self-treatment. But this is a situation that often requires an approach involving cognitive behavioral therapy.
What is CBT and How Does it Help With Negative Thoughts?
Above, we touched on the idea that our past can influence our self-perception and thus, our self-talk. This, of course, can be one way to address our present issues. Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, instead aims its focus on changes to be made in the here and now.
CBT techniques challenge us to determine:
- what we believe
- why we believe it
In this process, we’ll learn how to identify distortions in our thinking, e.g. black-and-white categories, overgeneralizing, and a wide variety of other fallacies. We do this by challenging our automatic thoughts. These include the negative self-talk that feels out of our control. Why do we think this way and are any of these thoughts true? It’s often helpful to play out the automatic thought to what might be its conclusion. In doing so, we can more clearly recognize its inaccuracy. We can also better see how it’s limiting and hurting us.
Complementary CBT tactics may also involve journaling and stress management.
What’s the First Positive Step Towards Relief?
By now, it should be clear how important getting help can be. If we cut our finger deeply, we’d consult an expert to have it checked out and probably stitched up. Therefore, when the cognitive triad has us running in circles, it’s just as logical to consult an expert.
A therapist with experience in CBT is worth your time. Learn more about making positive changes on my individual counseling page. If you’re interested in meeting with me please contact me for a consultation.
Empower yourself with information and knowledge. Take the next steps necessary to make positive changes in your life. The best news of all is that negative self-talk and the cognitive triad can both be addressed, managed, and minimized. But none of that will happen until you reach out for counseling help.
